I was recently asked why I never named the individuals who had both planned and perpetrated an Image Abuse act against me. Now, don’t get me wrong, there were times when I felt angry enough to do just that. I wanted for each of them to feel the same degree of pain that I had suffered, but then I realised a simple truth…. they couldn’t care less. As someone put it to me recently, and to use their words, they are vermin.
You have to be of a certain mindset to plan something of that nature, and even to this day I still can’t wrap my mind around how another human being could possibly entertain such thoughts. They’re quite frankly sociopathic in nature, perhaps even border line psychotic.
The right course of action, for me, was to publicly call out that behaviour, and in so doing increase awareness of Image Abuse generally, and not just within the LGBTQ community. Anger is arguably the most powerful emotion in the ‘human emotional catalogue’, but it can also be one of the most destructive and if left unchecked can cause more harm than good. Consequently, I wanted to harness my anger, and redirect it towards IBSA activism. I always mentally associated activism with chaining yourself to pillars and posts….and burning various undergarments. But I’ve learnt that you can be an activist, without burning anything at all, which is just as well because quality underwear isn't cheap!
An Image Abuse attack deprives a victim of their self-esteem, self-respect and their sense of individual power and in a world where Image Abuse convictions are few and far between, victims are left to their own devices when it comes to recapturing all of those elements. A victim of Image Abuse, like a victim of any crime, should not fear calling out its criminality. But despite a rapid and steady increase in the visibility of these acts, and our global governments continuing to largely ignore the problem, we still find ourselves at a place where society hasn’t quite caught up with the notion that the victim is not to blame for what has happened to them.
Speaking of convictions, someone recently shared an article regarding an Image Abuse perpetrator, who has been on trial for sharing non-consensual photos and recordings, of consensual sex with his ex-boyfriend. This individual is facing conviction under Australian Image Abuse/Revenge Porn laws which, in my view, are close to being perfect. I have a lot of respect for the stance that the Australian’s have towards the sharing of non-consensual sexual images, and I think our global law makers could learn a lot from their progressive attitudes towards technology facilitated abuse of this nature.
You can read more about the case here, https://bit.ly/2HLbIOE. This type of situation is not entirely uncommon, and I feel sure that many gay males will be able to relate to the scenario that the perpetrators ex-partner found himself in, irrespective of whether they have been a victim of these crimes or not. The perpetrator is clearly so self-obsessed with his sexual self, that he lacks the ability to determine the level of destructiveness that his selfish behaviour will bestow on the person that he is supposed to love! In fact, I doubt that he was even cognitively aware of his wrongdoing! The ex-partner found himself the star of his boyfriend’s own personal porn fantasy…. without him even knowing. Whilst every LGBTQ IBSA crime is different, this one is quite indicative I think of how most begin.
If the article is correct, it’s extremely worrying that Instagram allegedly allowed the perpetrator to upload, and furthermore promote (!) the non-consensual recordings. If this is true, then it must be clear to everyone that their so called ‘safeguards’ are about as useful as a plastic cup with holes in it!
Laws should be solid enough to dissuade anyone from committing the crime in the first instance, and I think the Australians may well have got it right here. If we had more successful convictions, and better publicity showing examples of Image Abuse laws working correctly and with authority, then I genuinely think that anyone thinking of committing such an act would think twice. An Image Abuse law should also educate, and I feel the Australian’s have got it right here too.
Consensual sex doesn’t automatically give anyone carte blanche to assume that it’s OK to share recordings of that intimate act, and for most of us with a modicum of common sense we probably understand the severity of doing so...but there are also those who do not and that’s why it’s important to have effective and robust laws. Sadly, I think there’s an awful long way to go, until we arrive at that moment. The mindset has to change, and so does society's overall understanding of the problem.
I’ve had to take some time out from blog writing, until now. 2020 and the effects of Covid-19 have broken so many lives….and there’s still quite a way to go yet. This year has certainly provided pause for thought, and an opportunity to re-evaluate the important things in life. Like so many people, I can only hope that 2021 will enable us to lead our lives with a sense of freedom. A freedom, that until now, we appear to have taken for granted.
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