Question from David Canham: “This website is here to provide safety for our community and call out these acts and those who intentionally cause harm. What was your motivation for wanting to go public with your experience and the disappointment you felt with the gay community when you attempted to warn others about these sexual predators?”
The police I have dealt with are, on the whole, sterling individuals. They admit to working within certain constraints that are well known to predatory networks and exploited by them. Several police officers have admitted to me that there is little value, in terms of a victim of IBSA reporting their experience to the police, because of existing procedures. One Detective Chief Superintendent I spoke to did not even know the term IBSA. More than one officer has recommended involving the press to resolve issues outside the police.
There is no room for deficient systems or procedures in the handling of Image Based Sexual Abuse or sexual assaults. However, they exist.
One key deficiency in the police response is that they do not seize laptops or mobile phones as standard practice. They expect the victim, who is often attempting to escape, and quite obviously not setting up a recording initiative of his/her own whilst escaping, to provide the police with evidence of the IBSA or the intended assault. Given that the victim might well have been in danger at the time, his/her focus is not on obtaining evidence but on personal safety.
The human rights of the perpetrator, his/her right to privacy, of all things, are considered more important than the need to immediately seize the IT equipment on which the victim claims all this material can be found, and which will be sent from this primary source, within minutes and seconds of capture. Clearly, no victim would insist on the seizure of IT equipment if the victim knew there was nothing on it. So, if failed, or intentionally ignored, by the police, the victim then must raise a complaint with the Ombudsman.
It realistically takes a year for that office to make a decision on whether to uphold a complaint. If the Ombudsman finds in favour, all that happens is that the matter is passed back to the police Professional Standards office to reconsider. They are not obliged to. Meanwhile, the victim will have undergone a year of stress and the perpetrator will have had a year to dispose of all evidence. This is clearly a nonsensical approach to IBSA. I would like to see this put right and going public about it is the right way to do so. I am contributing to a working group that is feeding back to Parliament.
In regard to the gay ‘community’, I have noted two prominent responses.
There are the advocates, the campaigners, and support workers and some ordinary gay citizens who respond with warmth, consideration, concern and determination when they hear of IBSA or sexual assault against victims.
Then there are gay men, predominantly the drug-dependent group, who like to find that someone is being targeted and attempt to ramp that up, partly to obtain some kick or another, but moreso to be ‘favoured’ by a drug supplier who may be orchestrating things. I now have several voice recordings identifying the name of two drug dealers who I have been informed are behind the vendetta I was exposed to. These have now been passed on to the Press and the Police.
The former response is admirable, and what one might expect in civilised society. The second response is not admirable, by any measure, and it is clearly not intelligent for anyone with a job, family relationships etc to place themselves at a 90% chance of prosecution, given that there is a known vendetta running. Drugs and offers of bounty can cause people to lose all sense of judgment, but that is their mistake to make.
More than one of the men I met was of the view that there is no such thing as a ‘gay community’. And I believe he is right.
There certainly is the recognised ‘gay community’ with a public face, in the form of political groups, its activists, its marches, its advertising, its dedicated press, its celebrated spokespeople and actors and its support organisations and support service workers.
And then there are independents who bond not for reason of gender, sexuality, shared heritage, noble cause or political ideology, but because of nothing more grand than drug-dependence and sociopathic leanings. These types do not understand what it means to care for others. Their need for continued drug supply overrides any sense of humanity or morality or altruism. The same need renders them easy targets for manipulators who seek patsies to carry out their directives. They operate on self-interest - they can happily spend all day attempting to distribute images or maim their guest but would be horrified if you showed their business partner images of them, or so much as stood on their toe. They see nothing wrong with orchestrating injury, but god forbid anyone should ever report them for it and hold them to account.
And so, it appears that many gay men live in fear of other gay men. They feel that they cannot speak up about violence against themselves or others, because they do not wish to be outed - in 2021 - and they are willing to live with dysfunction in their known circles, ignoring what happens to anyone else, no matter how awful it may be. I know one particular man who knows all details of the vendetta and who disapproves of it, but who is too self-concerned to speak up. He thinks about himself, not about what is right and not about the rest of the gay ‘community’ who in time all become exposed to malignant actors. What value do such men have? Too many bury their heads in the sand and hope they will not be next. This allows the problem to perpetuate across regions and generations.
Many have become obsessed by apps, and many spend most waking hours trawling through Grindr, announcing every message they send and receive, in the largely vain hope of arranging a meet. This constant hunting and the constant failure to establish any meaningful connection breeds superficiality and dysfunction. These adult men do not develop meaningful, lasting, adult bonds, based on care, respect or trust, in other words. Thus, if the only connection one has is with digital devices and media, the sharing of images becomes de rigueur and frequent. As the victim will probably never be able to prove the images have been sent the predator’s reason why not?
So yes, there is some dysfunction in gay society. However, I have found some gay men, and all straight people to whom I have talked, disgusted by the activities of these actors, and very supportive. I have received tip-offs at various times from gay men closer to the orchestrators than the orchestrators yet know.
It would be wrong to say that all gay men are superficial, self-preoccupied or malignant, but a proportion might consider being more thoughtful, if not about others, at least about themselves, and this would encourage greater selectivity about those they meet. They would then distance themselves from malicious actors. Too many are not thoughtful enough and thus liable to be manipulated and used as a patsy, placing themselves at grave risk.
So, my motivation for going public is firstly to support discussion on systems, procedures and legislation that are unfit for purpose through contributions to national dialogue.
A second motivation for publishing my experience is my own desire to spend my free time in valuable endeavour and on affirmative action. Of course, nasty individuals are capable of nasty actions, but it is my choice how I deal with those if they happen. How can the nasty actions of others benefit me? I choose to see these as learning experiences that I can share, to the benefit of others. I've learnt an enormous amount.
A third motivation is to help some to step away from criminality. I would suggest to those who have already been implicated that they put their own selfishness to good purpose and remove themselves from the orbit of orchestrators, and to step away from criminality. If they are drug users, they should source a dealer who is not malignant.
A fourth motivation relates to a wish to be a good role model and a valuable person. I will not get many thanks for trying to protect gay men, but I like to count myself amongst the many gay men who can demonstrate to the world that stereotypical notions about all gay men being bitchy, superficial, nasty, selfish, self-interested, and so on, do not hold true for all of us.
A fifth motivation is happiness. Those who support victims daily are happy in their work and thankful to be able to contribute to the reduction of IBSA and gay sexual predation. By going public, be it in print or at public speaking events, even documentaries, I too can help current and future victims. They might not thank me, but I am happy knowing that it is I who helped some to make a timely realisation and avoid repercussions to their jobs, families and liberty that would have followed any successful assault.
The more intelligent ones have already deduced that I am told more than I tell, and have woken up to the fact that they must distance themselves from those who
orchestrate the vendetta. They have begun to realise that a great deal has been
recorded continuously since 2016.
I feel happy that many of these men have observed and noted with increasing awareness others’ unhinged behaviour, their psychoses, madness, violence and fixations. They have seen glimpses of the darkness into which drugs use can lead a person. They have also observed my own stoicism and steadfastness, and my own resolve to record all activity in meticulous detail. I’ve done nothing to anyone throughout. I am happy to say that I have remained polite and courteous to all concerned since day one. Through going public, I now see a growing awareness that some have been gullible, fed a false narrative, manipulated and placed at great personal risk, a risk that the orchestrators are astute enough not to take themselves.
Comentários